Oprah Winfrey

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.”

Oprah Gail Winfrey, born Orpah Gail Winfrey
(January 29, 1954)
An American talk show host, actress, television producer, media executive and philanthropist. She is best known for her talk show, The Oprah Winfrey Show, broadcast from Chicago, which was the highest-rated television program of its kind in history and ran in national syndication for 25 years from 1986-2011. Dubbed the “Queen of All Media” she was the richest African American of the 20th century and North American’s first black multi-billionaire, and she has been ranked the greatest black philanthropist in American history. By 2007, she was sometimes ranked as the most influential woman in the world.

Tina Turner

“Sometimes you’ve got to let everything go – purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything…whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.”

Tina Turner, born Anna Mae Bullock
(November 26, 1939)
An American-born Swiss singer and actress. Turner rose to prominence as part of the Ike & Tina Turner Revue before launching a successful career as a solo performer. Having sold over 100 million records, she is one of the best-selling recording artists of all time and has been referred to as The Queen of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Turner is noted for her energetic state presence, powerful vocals and career longevity.

Maya Angelou

“You are only free when you realize you belong no place – You belong every place – No place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”

Maya Angelou, born Marguerite Annie Johnson
(April 4, 1928 – May 28, 2014)
An American poet, singer, memoirist and civil rights activist. She published seven autobiographies, three books of essays, several books of poetry, and is credited with a list of plays and movies and television shows spanning over 50 years.
(source: Wikipedia)

Kamala Harris

“If you are fortunate to have opportunity, it is your duty to make sure other people have those opportunities as well.”

Kamala Devi Harris (October 20, 1964)
An American lawyer and politician serving as the junior United States Senator from California since 2017. She is a member of the Democratic Party. Previously, she served as the 32nd Attorney General of California from 2011 to 2017.
She is a graduate of Howard University and University of California, Hastings College of the Law.
(Source: Wikipedia)

Audre Lorde

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are different from my own.”

Audre Lorde/Gamba Adisa
(February 18, 1934 – November 17, 1992)
An American writer, feminist, womanist, librarian and civil rights activist. She was a self-described “black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet” who dedicated both her life and her creative talent to confronting and addressing injustices of racism, sexism, classism, heterosexism and homophobia.
(source: Wikipedia)

Michelle Obama

“You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world’s problems at once but don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.”

Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama (January 17, 1964)
An American lawyer and author who was the first lady of the United States from 2009-2017. She is married to the 44th President of the United States Barack Obama. She is the first African-American First Lady of the United States.
Mrs. Obama is a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School.
(source: Wikipedia)

“We have to improve life, not just for those who have the most skills and those who know how to manipulate the system. But also for those who often have so much to give but never get the opportunity.”

Dorothy Height (March 24, 1912 – April 20, 2010)
American civil rights and woman’s rights activist. Height specifically focused on the issues of African-American women, including unemployment, illiteracy, and voter awareness. She was the president of the National Council of Negro Women for forty years.
(source: Wikipedia)

Holding Space for the Voices of Others

As a mother, wife, daughter, friend, social worker and human being I use my voice for to uplift others and raise awareness from my perspective. With all of my good intentions and passion for justice, my perspective is laced with privilege.

My vision, like the rest of the human race, is filtered through my experiences. So, it becomes my responsibility to remove the veil in order to listen to the voices of others so I can learn what I cannot comprehend on my own. I need other people to teach me so my perspective doesn’t operate independently. My perspective can become part of a collective solution.

The next seven days I will hold space for the voices of women of color. Each, who have removed veils for me to hear and see more clearly. Though, I have lengthy stories on each woman and how their words and lives changed me, my words are not the point.

There is no need to explain any further what their perspectives and voices are able to accomplish on their own.

I stand with justice and black lives matter.

Anger or Grief?

I find comfort in my anger.
I have been known to hang on to grudges like tiny little birds. I keep them safely tucked away in their cages preventing the process of acceptance from occurring and letting go of what hurt me.
I have kept score of hurts I felt and ones I caused like it was my job – striving for balance between the two accounts.
There was a time I felt it was my right to hold on tight to these grudges and a sign of strength on my part because I was not going to be taken advantage of.
This time was not long ago in a place far way. The not-so-distant past has a way of tricking us of when it actually took place.
My grudges and my anger kept me warm in my comfort zone, blocking out the light needed for growth and change.
Anger is much easier to feel than grief.
Anger lets me rage outside of myself searching for an external answer.
Grief involves pain and loss and sadness which all direct my attention inward.
Have you ever looked in the mirror after an ugly cry?
It’s not my favorite sight.
Recently, my Bitter-Betty side has been showing herself more often. (No offense to any Bettys out there – I actually love the name but it does go well with Bitter)
I have been angry about everything, literally EVERYTHING!
My grudges were growing exponentially by the day and it was just too much to keep up with. Red-truck-guy cutting me off only to slow down and turn left directly in front me was where I threw my hands up in defeat.
Red-truck-guy was only doing what red-truck guy does. He had no malicious intent toward me. He just needed to turn left as I have needed to do on a daily basis.
Life just happened on life’s terms and I had a choice to accept it or not.
When I turned my attention around to face myself in the mirror, I recognized grief instead of anger.
My grudges had grown because my world had been thrown on its ass. My regular life was now filled with empty calendars and anxiety of the unknown.
I have been walking around using the very phrase I swore off of, knowing damn good and well I AM NOT FINE!
I am grieving over my regular life. I miss hugs from my family and dinner with my friends. I am sad for the thousand of lives lost and level of hate I witness daily on the news. I am scared for my children and what life will look like as I try to raise decent human beings in this new world.
When I tear back the anger, I find grief and grief is no one’s fault. Grief is a reaction to life on life’s terms.
So I am going to do my best to stop keeping score, be honest enough to hold myself accountable and let people turn left when they need to because at some point I will too.

What Makes You Strange

Strange is someone else’s perception.
Strange is unique, uncanny, different, special, unfamiliar and distinctive.
Strange stands out in a crowd.
Strange is your you-ness in all its glory.
You must be vulnerable to be strange and when you find that courage, don’t ever let it go.
Your strange is your strength and that is worth a thousand celebrations.
This is not a lesson I learned over night and not a way of life I don’t have to practice on a daily basis. Finding comfort in my own skin, took years of trying on different looks to figure out it was my look that fit just right all along.
My story is strange.
My look is strange.
My way of seeing the world is strange.
As a young girl and even as a young woman, I just wanted to be “normal”, like everyone else. I feel sad for that girl and young woman. I know how hard that was trying so hard to figure out a place to fit. An impossible task that would never work.
You can spot me in a group at 1,000 paces. My hair and my laugh are bright and bold.
Out with some girlfriends one night in a crowded restaurant, a friend joining late found us quickly without calling. When we asked how, her response was she only had to listen for my laugh.There was a time I may have shied away from that, but I was able to nod my head acknowledging that truth.
My story has trauma, sadness, beautiful love and incidents I am not proud of. I cannot own pieces of that story. The entire story is what makes me, me and what makes me strange.
👑🧡
What makes you strange?