When Today is Tough

Within a tick of the clock, this became a day of dread instead of celebration in my family.

A day to remind me of my father-less status. A day to miss him even more than the rest of the 364 days on the calendar.

A day to miss all the times I never got with a man I thought would live forever.

It’s a devastatingly lonely place to be.

Father’s Day became a day of celebration minus the man of honor. It was status quo for my family, while everyone around us had a holiday.

Then I got tired of being sad and missing out on celebrating. I found some gratitude and decided to celebrate while we honored my dad even without him present.

We celebrated my mother, who had to be both mom and dad after he was gone. There are never enough days to celebrate her and her amazingness, so we started by adding Father’s Day to the list.

Then, we met my step-father who deserves our celebration and gratitude for his wonderful part in our family. A man who honors the void that was left in our hearts, never trying to fill it.

Eventually, I got to celebrate the father of my daughters who gives selflessly to our family and loves us with all that he is. I found a new level of gratitude for a man I share my life with and raise children with.

Father’s Day, for me, has changed a lot over the years. It still holds a void in my heart. There is a section of cards at Target which I do not get to shop from anymore. However, I always have something to be grateful for and someone to celebrate with. On Father’s Day, I honor the man I lost and I celebrate with people who make my life better.

You never know what someone is struggling with, so always start with kindness. If today is a struggle for you, know you are not alone. I understand and I honor your story.

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